— all of that sounds like a rebound, or at least a casual “relationship.” She’s probably totally in the dark and……you know what?I’m gonna stop right there because why do you even care about any of this?Approach her calmly and with caution to ensure that she's ready for another relationship.
Diablo Your letter tells me more about you than your ex or his new girl. You describe your ex’s new girl as “several steps below” you, “bat crap crazy,” “seriously overweight,” “looks like a drag queen.” You denigrate her because she has a child and a low paying job, like lots of single mothers deserving support and sympathy.
It would be hard work dating someone who thinks that she is “several steps above” other people. You need to do some work on you, starting with the unfortunate idea that you are better than anybody.
Maybe she doesn’t feel like “several steps down” to him.
Drew: Please do not repeat anything you said in this letter to another human being. I say that because, apparently, you’re smart, you have a great job and a wide network of friends. So quit worrying about your ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend.
A great personality, an infectious laugh, and she seems to "get" you. Being on the rebound brings up the question of her emotional availability since her prior relationship has recently ended and she may not have had time to heal, says Mary C.
Lamia, a clinical psychologist and author of "Rebound Relationships" on the "Psychology Today" website.You talk about how amazing you are, so you should have guys lining up around the block, right? I think what’s really bothering you is that you’re afraid since your ex has dated both you and a woman who has made several life choices you don’t agree with, you must have more in common with her than you think (because obviously he liked both of you!), but I wouldn’t worry about that though, because I suspect your judgmental behavior here — even if it’s unintentional — was present in the relationship, and that is what caused the break-up.But instead of trying to figure out what that is, I’d suggest looking inward and using your experiences in this relationship to help you discover what you do and don’t want in your next one.Or don’t do that, but accept that it’ll mean you’re going to be lonely for a lot longer than you have to be. If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected](be sure to read these guidelines first). So I blocked and deleted him from my phone, Facebook, and Snapchat.