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It was clear from our conversation that, while gruff and totally clueless, Blondie was a nice, honest guy looking to genuinely connect with a woman, and who feels frustrated that it isn’t happening. This girl kept saying I was ignoring her, because we went to watch football and I was talking to the bartender, who’s a buddy.” Imagine that, I thought. Before I knew it, I was in full-scale Patti Stanger “Millionaire Matchmaker” mode, pointing out to him all the things he’d done wrong that make a woman feel like her vagina is dead. “I see why your date the other night thought you were ignoring her—you seem much more comfortable and interested in talking to bartenders than to the women you’re with.
Before I knew it, I was in full-scale Patti Stanger “Millionaire Matchmaker” mode, pointing out to him all the things he’d done wrong that make a woman feel like her vagina is dead. Be right back.” I’m never quite sure how to handle bad dates. On first dates, my philosophy is to keep things focused on me and the guy rather than discuss those of the past. “And she was a really bad kisser.” “Well, the date can’t have been all that bad, if you got to the kissing part,” I pointed out. “It was mediocre.” He turned and looked me up and down, a gesture that repulsed me rather than seduced me.
He won, but mainly because I stopped trying to let him maintain his dignity. Perhaps next time he makes plans to meet a woman, he’ll realize I have some good points. Even though I never want to go out with this person again, not even as friends, should I write him and apologize?
Not only had I suffered a bad date, but I’d made Blondie feel like total crap, too.
I sensed from our email correspondence that Blondie wasn’t a green zebra—more like a yellow orangutan. I felt the urge to grab my coat and make a quick exit, waving goodbye while he was on the call so he wouldn’t have a chance to protest. I remembered The Juggler—the first hour of our first date was pretty terrible, but in the end I liked him and we had some hot chemistry. You have to give people a chance to get comfortable.
There was something about his manner that seemed too aggressive and far more interested in asking me how I like to kiss rather than, say, what I do, where I’m from, and what I’m looking for. “It feels really good to be able to say ‘no’ to that question.” “Oh, too bad,” he said. Finally, as we started to bowl, the conversation started to flow a little more naturally. And then we reached the conversation that, when you’re online dating, means you’ve run out of things to talk about.
When Blondie asked if I’d meet him for a game of bowling, I obliged. Something I would really appreciate while I wait to feel a real connection with someone. As I stood a little taken aback, Blondie began chatting up the bartender.
As I got out of the subway and headed to the bowling alley, I got a text from Blondie.
But he looked attractive in his photos, and had an odd collection of hobbies that hinted at an interesting person. “Smoking is sexy to me.” Wait, did this guy really just say that to a former smoker? Is this guy really initiating conversation with the bartender rather than me?
Not to mention the fact that I haven’t been on a date in a month and a half, and haven’t had sex since August. He might not be your dude, but maybe he’d make a good booty call. We talked for a few stilted moments while ordering drinks at the bar. That’s like telling a recovering alcoholic that the bourbon tastes especially good today. I stood there while the two of them chatted for another minute.
"Millionaire Matchmaker" star Patti Stanger is known for her strong opinions when it comes to the rules of dating, including finding a man online.