Again, this theory isn’t confirmed, but it sure makes a heck of a point.If someone wants something that they are not accustomed to and then finally receive it, they’ll appreciate it much more than someone who is.
I’m not going to say whether these women are right, although THEY certainly feel they are.
I will say that men, for all their flaws, are equal opportunity daters in a way that women are not.
I find the vast, vast, vast majority of men unattractive.
Mostly it’s that I don’t have any physical attraction to them, but once in a while (about twice a year if I’m on a lot of dating sites, or once every few years if I’m not), I’ll meet someone I actually think is good looking (a hint here is that I find most celebrities physically unattractive, apparently my sex drive is picky but I couldn’t tell you why – although I DO have a high sex drive…).
However, I’m also aware having been through a lot of therapy after numerous and significant mental health difficulties (eating disorders etc.) that I tend to date cold or unavailable men and then not ask for more and maintain that emotional distance – essentially, I seem to have been in a habit of avoiding intimacy by going out with people I don’t find attractive, or more often than I’d like to admit, men who I know are gay before I even ask them out…otherwise they’re narcissistic or give mixed messages, or aren’t close in some way etc.
Knowing that I have that pattern, I made a promise to myself to pick up on coldness whenever I find someone attractive and to walk away.Well maybe she knows a thing or two about relationships that some women who only want the Idris Elba look alike, don’t know: dating a less than attractive man may have it perks.If physical attributes are high on your list of fulfillment when it comes to the opposite sex, then maybe you can’t get past a set of less than straight teeth, an extra receding hairline, or a hefty pair of men breasts; but if you can then there may be a man underneath the flaws (that we all have) that can love and appreciate you.And that is something I do – I look specifically for empathy.And guess what…on those very rare occasions when the idea of kissing/sleeping with someone is not downright unappealing, they’re cold and narcissistic, and so I walk away.Very attractive woman – a 43-year-old personal trainer who hated online dating for the very reason you mentioned. When we went through the website to take inventory, I asked her to put 40 guys on her favorites list. The only 6 guys she found attractive looked like 32-year-old GQ models whose preferred age range was 22-29.