Notice that mindfulness and self-validation go hand in hand.
Level 1 Be Present To be mindful of your emotions without pushing them away is consistent with Linehan’s first level of validation, to be present.
If your parents also validated their own feelings, perceptions and so on, then you are extremely fortunate, as you likely learned to do this for yourself from their role modeling.
I sense tightness in my stomach, so maybe there is fear as well.” Saying, “I am a total loser and no one wants to spend any time with me,” would not be stating the facts of your experience.
Stating the facts of your experience is validating and helps build trust in your internal experience.
Interpreting your experience in ways that you cannot observe to be true invalidates and leads to distrust in your internal experience and more Level 3: Guessing Sometimes you won’t be sure what you are feeling or thinking. You can notice where you feel body sensations, such as fear is often felt in the throat.
In these situations you may want to say something like, “If someone else were in this situation they would probably feel sad. ” You might also guess by looking at the actions you want to do. If you are feeling fear, maybe you are thinking scary thoughts.
Guessing your emotions and thoughts based on the information you have will help you learn more about yourself.
Level 4: Validating by History Sometimes you will have thoughts and feelings that are based on events that have happened in your past.Knowing how to self-validate is important to learning to manage your emotions effectively.Self-validation means you can accept your internal experience as understandable and acceptable. How do you apply the six levels of validation to self-validation?When you observe and describe your internal experience, you do not interpret or guess or make assumptions.You would say, “I feel angry and it started yesterday after my friend cancelled lunch.Maybe you reflect on the ways you feel the emotion in your body and consider the actions that go with the emotion.