Is there a difference between couples that met recently and those in Huston’s study?Currently I co-run a longitudinal study of marriage and family development, started in 2008 and ongoing, and the answers couples gave me about their engagement ranged from several months to several years.If not, you may find yourself like Jennifer Aniston’s character in Bruce Almighty (she repeats this long-suffering role in “He’s Just not that Into You”) whose boyfriend needs literal divine intervention from God to get him to propose.
You might even be filling your thoughts with anxiety and frustration about the future of your relationship.
The issue of how long to wait for the ring might be a decision point for you.
If you are focused on the subject, are you missing issues sitting just on the periphery? On one hand, if either of you are still in college or graduate school and not financially stable it might not be a good idea.
But a 30-something guy in a multi-year relationship with a steady job doesn’t have that same excuse. Maybe he really is just saving up his pennies and has a plan in place.
Much has changed in the last thirty years, and those in my study are still reporting general satisfaction in their marriages.
There is actually a lower divorce rate now than in the 80s, and what marriage means on a societal level is also changing.
You are not a used car salesman trying to get rid of shoddy goods.
It might hurt to be alone, but it’s better for you in the long run than being in an unhappy marriage.
Couples who fell fast in love were engaged after nine months, and married after 18 months.